Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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