So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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