just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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