but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want nice things and good sex
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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