He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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