Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
foreskin is a definite game changer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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