I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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