the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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