im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
