I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
