marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
