You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
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