She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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