I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
