I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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