And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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