that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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