I can't watch pbs sober anymore
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
