So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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