The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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