I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
