I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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