Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
