It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
