What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
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My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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