it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
