Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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