Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
