It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
