Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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