Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am puke
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize