Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
