he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
