I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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