Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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