What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
