And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
