whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
