There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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