Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
