I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
