We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
they're like a gay fantastic four
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
