A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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