she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
