If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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