is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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