Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize