No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
