The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize