I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
