My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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