I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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