Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She tied me up with her honor cords...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
