i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
