speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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