DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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