i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
